A little more

All he needed was a little more. That’s all anyone ever needed, wasn’t it? More? Swift grubby fingers untangled the threads in his pocket until they fell apart like friendly corn husk dolls. He pulled out the crude bracelets and pushed away the longing to beg. Looking up at the nearby women, he smiled bashfully and held up the bracelets. Most looked at his dirty skin with disgust; some betrayed a sort of sympathy before allowing an apologetic smile. He searched around helplessly. Just a little more. Any coin would be enough.

When I was hungry

The ceasefire ceased
to protect my sisters
or their innocent smiles
at the green-clad soldiers
who rolled by on the thick
shells of tanks

I received a letter
stained in ashen water
the blood of my brothers
marked the futility
of peaceful words
the treaty was ignored

The glory of war
branded my veins with fury
haunted my crimson dreams
and faded when I was hungry
betrayed me
while I remembered

Dear Nat

I think I must be desperate. I am writing a letter to you, of all people. Actually, I decided to revisit this blogging habit of mine from last year, and I read through all the hilariously clumsy letters I wrote back then. I laughed, but I also transported myself into a wild whirlwind of nostalgia. And when I tried to write a new letter, I realized that I have already written a letter to everyone I find important in this very moment. That leaves you.

Somehow, you passed by quietly last year. I acknowledged your presence, but we never held a conversation, not once did you ever cross my mind. It was sudden and quite scary when one April day, I realized that I wanted to listen to you. I wanted you to listen to me.

Thinking back, I’m unsure what you ever saw in me. And don’t get me wrong, what did I ever see in you? I swear, if you’re laughing right now…

We make a wonderful team. And I don’t want to think about the future because I am well aware that our team is currently bound by some very strong teenage hormones. My friends ask me what you and I’ll do next year, but it doesn’t matter in the present. We have the summer. Bright long days.

Come to the beach with us ~ this is an invitation in disguise, for the beach, and because I would rather you than anyone else to be my first heartbreak.

Golden waves

You could tell I was broken from the beginning. I held my too-long sleeves over my hands and rubbed my mouth dry. Tears glimmered in my eyes at the drop of a hat. There were days I spun wildly, a golden ecstatic bliss peaking in waves before they crashed hard, leaving dull gray nothings. Somehow, you chose me anyway. You needed to convince me I was good enough, and you were willing to try. I was willing to resist. Why did I deserve any attention like that? We were willing to fight. Those were turbulent watery fights, where your words would splash around me and suffocate me, but I always lashed back with a stinging cold. And it would calm with time, and I would smile again. And I would smirk with bemusement at the world, and you would laugh. And the golden would come back softly.

Lost

If it were mine,
I would give it all away
On a gamble
Because I play with the future,
And I believe I can win.

I never had high hopes
For a comfortable life
With silk slippers
Or breakfasts in bed,
And I still don’t want it.

Yet it isn’t mine.

I can’t let you give it all away
On my high-stakes gamble.
I can promise my best shot
But winning is no guarantee.

And maybe I will accept
This semi-comfortable life.
I will thank you with my smiles,
With my deepest being,

But I still won’t want it.

 

Just this once

I will write my thoughts about politics. It is late in my neck of the woods right now, and I don’t feel highly rational, so please read the following with that in mind.

I am American, born and raised, and though I may have a slightly unusual family dynamic and some quirky parents/stepparents, I have never felt as if I didn’t belong. I have been taught to work hard, that working hard is good for the soul, and hard work can lead you to where you belong. And so, from a very young age, I have been fed the mindset that the government should not be giving out aid to people who are “obviously lazy” especially if they haven’t attempted to “work hard”. In fact, government should not dictate anything for the people that isn’t explicitly stated in the law. The role of government should be to protect the rights of people to achieve and to provide fairness of opportunity.

My household is filled with strictly conservative views. However, at school, it came to my attention that most people in my state do not think that way. Equity for all was something new to me, and my peers would talk about how the government should help lift up the poor and increase taxes on the rich. It was immensely confusing spending my day in a political environment so open and liberal and coming home to the opposite.

Over the past few years, I have read a lot. I have made new friends with people from all over this country, and I have visited 4 foreign countries. Being highly privileged myself, I know there is much I do not understand. I have talked with the homeless, been to the ghettos of Brooklyn, and met a Palestinian, but that doesn’t make me all that much more informed. There will never be a day when I have the whole picture, but seeing through my own eclectic window, I have formed my own views. I am what one might consider a libertarian.

This 2016 election evades me. How did we end up with two candidates so vehemently hated by the American public? And what is all the fear? I see fear in the candidates, fear in the people, fear turned into hate, fear turned into complacency. On one hand, there are those fed up with the “establishment” and the corruption and underhanded dealings within the government. I believe that a little corruption is actually necessary, but yes, things have gone a little too far. On the other hand, there are those outraged over the hateful and derogatory rhetoric being used. I believe that some people are overly sensitive these days, but the concern is 100% warranted.

Many say that they will be voting for the lesser of two evils this November. I am trying to end this post on a positive note, but I prefer to stay honest. I sincerely hope that we can see past the evils and find something within someone to vote for rather than using the vote against someone who we hate. If not, it is not the end of the world, there is really no reason to “move to Canada”, as my friends have all said; our government is built on a system of checks and balances which is difficult to change and if people are really unhappy, there will be another election for Senate seats in 2 years. We just have to wait until then.